In a moment of optimism, my wife planted some zucchini this spring. I say optimism because zucchini is one of those cunning vegetables that will refrain from bearing fruit (well, yes – zucchini is technically a fruit) until you’ve been lulled into thinking, thankfully, that you won’t have to pick (and eat or dispose of) any zucchini for the year. Then, when you’re least expecting it, you walk out into the garden some Saturday and discover several zucchini large enough to be classified as torpedoes or ballistic missiles. My five-year-old, however, thinks that the larger a zucchini is, the more money it must be worth. He picked several of the larger ones tonight and is convinced he has struck it rich. I’m wondering whether I should tell him the tooth fairy will also pay for zucchini in the absence of loose teeth. If he puts those zucchini under his pillow, there won’t be any room for him in bed. He’ll have to sleep on the floor. At any rate, I’m pleased that he’s thinking like a capitalist.
Hmm, you obviously missed Zucchini Day. It was on August 18th. It’s when you sneak a zucchini on your neighbour’s back porch, and then run away laughing (that last bit is really important).
Failing that, I’ve got an excellent recipe for zucchini salsa, if you want it. It calls for 10 cups of grated zucc, which is pretty much one of those monster ones, and makes for excellent texture in the salsa.
I think I’ll, uh, take a pass on that salsa. Zucchini, as you probably know, was invented by the R&D Department of the Spanish Inquisition. It has a long and dreadful history, and one of my goals in life is to see its reign of terror ended.
Christopher!! I just picked a four-lb zucchini in my garden!! Do you want me to mail it to you? I’m sure your kid has sold all yours by now, to great profit.
Aargh. No, thanks. Feel free to keep it and sell it for tons of money. We’re zucchinied under here.