Were there gophers in the Garden of Eden?

I suppose there were gophers in the Garden of Eden, so I’m answering my own question. I’m pretty sure whoever the great-grandfather of all gophers was, he made a beeline for the Tree of Life (that’s the one Adam and Eve didn’t get involved with) and had a couple mouthfuls of the root. That’s why gophers are immortal. At least, they are in my garden. I’ve drowned them, poisoned them, trapped them, set the cat on them, and smoked them out with flares, but they rise eternal, like the phoenix from the ashes. And then they run amok in the tomatoes, dreaming all the while, I suppose, of Eden.

5 thoughts on “Were there gophers in the Garden of Eden?”

  1. Wait. Wait wait wait. Isn’t there something about tomatoes being called “Apples of Paradise”? I’m sure that’s why the gophers are after them.

    1. Okay, found it. It’s the Austrians, they call them “Paradiesäpfel”. Maybe if you speak to the gophers sternly in an Austrian accent, they’ll get the idea that the tomatoes have nothing to do with Eden, and leave them alone henceforth.

  2. Decided this morning to start research for a blog item on how such things as gophers, mosquitos, dust, etc. fit into the master plan . . . and here I find another Christopher probing the issue only a few days before. A nice synchronicity to get me started. (And nicely penned, too. If only gophers were so easy to contain!)

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