I’m convinced of it. Randomly slaying innocent rodents. Lazing about like little Caligulas. Viewing the world with thinly concealed contempt. However, I’m also convinced they are pawns of a greater evil. Some super villain concealed in the shadows, twitching their strings like the marionette master that he undoubtedly is. The Illuminati of the cat world. Colonel Sanders, perhaps?
In unrelated news, it is seriously difficult to wear a mini skirt with high heels and not look like a tramp. So says my wife. And Nina Garcia. This is an issue that I have not considered, but something tells me a creative nexus exists between it and the previous paragraph. I just don’t see it yet.
That’s the wonder of fiction writing.
Oh, I’m really glad that the information of the difficulty in wearing mini skirts with heels comes from your wife. You had me seriously worried there for a second when I thought it came from personal experience.
And if you had ever had to deal with mouse poop in your kitchen cupboards (IN THE BAKING DISHES, NO LESS!) you would not be so blithely speaking of innocent rodents. Oh no. You would be hailing pussycats as the saviours of mankind (cakekind, anyway).
As far as I’m concerned, it’s dogs that are evil – they just hide it behind their deceptively pathetic expressions. It’s the eyebrows. Dogs have eyebrows, so they can pull them up and look heart-rendingly sad; cats don’t, so they look perpetually deadpan. Inside, they’re probably a roiling mass of insecurities and sensitivity, forever being hurt by the misinterpretation of their motives by people like you. It’s a tragedy.
I view dogs more as public health nuisances. They produce a great deal of lawn mines, slobber incessantly, shed, and continuously sniff inappropriate behinds. Very odd creatures. Cats…I still maintain they’re plain evil. And dangerous. I think three of the spots on the Top 10 List of Most Powerful Jaws are filled by cats (lions, tigers, and jaguars).