On Being an Uncle

My oldest nephew is about to graduate from high school in a few days. I’m an uncle? I think I’ve been awol on uncle duties. Thankfully, he can’t fire me. Or disown me, because he probably doesn’t have any money.

I need to turn over the proverbial leaf and be a better uncle. Here’s my plan: I’m going to buy an old chateau in the Swiss Alps, furnish it with cobwebs, expensive antiques and suits of armor. I’ll also fill it with obscure clues that lead to treasure troves around the world, hidden in my various favorite countries: Israel, Thailand, Fiji, Scotland, the Greek Isles, etc. Then, when I die, I’ll leave him the chateau in my will, along with a cryptically worded letter to get him started on the treasure hunting.

Okay, that’ll work. I suppose there are a few practical details that’ll need some ironing out. Nothing insurmountable. Absentee-uncle dilemma solved.

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