I need an absurd and ridiculous name

Actually, I need several. If you have any absurd and ridiculous names that you would like to share with me, tell me now (before it’s too late–see: Asteroids Crashing into Earth, Chinese Invade, Black Plague II, Zombie Apocalypse, Mothers-in-Law, etc). My current work-in-progress, the humorous fantasy, needs some additional names. If I end up using a name you suggest, I’ll put you in the Thanks page at the end of the book. I’m not necessarily looking for ridiculous names that exist in our world, such as Melvin (sorry to all you Melvins out there, but giving a baby the name Melvin really stacks the deck against him; what in —- are all you Melvin-parents thinking??), but also freaky weird made-up names, such as Bjorn Borg, Martha Stewart, or Dweeper (I’m already using that name for a dwarf in the book).

Also, what is up with our President possibly going with Susan Rice as the Secretary of State replacement for Hillary Clinton? Susan Rice is the diplomatic equivalent of a weasel. I realize this paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with the previous paragraph, but my mind just jumped and I had to go with it as I need my mind. By the way, if you’re gonna go with a Rice for Secretary of State, I think Santino Rice from Project Runway would do a much better job than Susan Rice.

Santino: Putin, you would look much better in a silk coat cut on the bias. Perhaps a nice red to bring out the Communism in your eyes.

Putin: Silence, you strangely-bearded capitalist running dog! [to his aide] Bring us to defcon 5 before this creature gets his measuring tape out.

Santino: You are such a comrade.

Heck, yeah, authors have opinions on random stuff, which includes politics, culture, cuisine, pies, extra-terrestrials. You certainly don’t have to listen to me, but just be warned, okay? I realize I might tick off potential readers from time to time, but that’s life. We all don’t need to think alike, unlike all those rebellious pop-stars and rockers and rappers–what’s up with that? Those crooners and oohers are supposed to be the rebellious roses of our culture, but they’re about as rebellious as a carton of eggs. They think alike a la zombies (see: Adam Levine, Lady Gaga, fill-in-the-blank-with-whomever).

Okay, I’m rambling now. I’ll save that rocker thing for another post sometime.

3 thoughts on “I need an absurd and ridiculous name”

  1. I don’t think it’s the potential readers you need to worry about ticking off, as they’re only potential and therefore haven’t read your blog. It’s your loyal fans you should be concerned about. But then, anyone who’s a fan has only themselves to blame if they get offended; they should know what to expect from you, and after all, nobody is holding a gun to their head to make them read (okay, nobody is holding a gun to mine. Last I checked, anyway.).

    Have you tried the Fantasy Name Generator at http://www.rinkworks.com/namegen/? Under “Idiot Names”, it’s giving me such gems as Monggrorg, Mookbong, Thunclot, Hormskull, and Felch. You’re welcome.

    1. Fantastic! I was unaware of the Fantasy Name Generator. You’ve just opened up a universe of dreadful possibilities for me. For that, you shall definitely be in the Thanks page. Felch. That’s great.

      1. I’m partial to Monggrorg, myself. But it really depends on who the character is – Monggrorg sounds kind of ogre-ish, big and klutzy with a very tiny brain. Felch is more small, weasely and nasty, or else the innkeeper with salted peanuts for brains.

        There’s other name generators out there, too, non-fantasy ones – for naming human Americans (random combinations of first and last names as collected by US census), or cities, or whatever.

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