Hotels and Guilt Complexes

I’m not saying that hotels are constructed as guilt complexes. That would make for an interesting contractor resume. “Yes, I specialize in single family dwellings, light industrial, and guilt complexes.” What I mean to say (what I’m mean to say) is that I profoundly protest the fact that so many hotels these days try to strong-arm you with guilt every time you use a towel, turn on the sink, or hop on the shower (only hop into showers if they have non-skid mats; otherwise, you’re going to hop, slip and break your neck: a series of events celebrated in a failed Dr. Seuss book called Hop, Slip and Snap!).

Save the planet while you enjoy your hotel getaway.

No, actually, no. I’m not interested in saving the planet via reducing the amount of hot water I use in the shower or dutifully using my towel multiple times. I’m on a getaway. Get it? I’m getting away from the petty cares of everyday life. Which means I’m planning on not thinking about saving the planet while I’m getting away. Got that?

I’ll leave saving the planet to Superman and the spandex-clad bureaucrats of the EPA.

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