Christmas in the Multiverse

One of the odder theories in physics is the existence of the multiverse, as opposed to the singular universe. An indeterminate number of universes that co-exist, somehow sharing the same space (within a larger what?) but not impinging on each other. Paul Davies argues against the multiverse, asking sensible question as to how we could empirically test the existence of other universes if we can’t journey to them, observe them, test them in a lab, etc. Sensible, yes, but dull and not at all interesting from a story perspective. His objection assumes that science is the ultimate authority and measuring stick for everything else.

Which is a well-worn trap that we should perpetually examine with wary eyes.

Objections of various physicists and that bow-tied quack Bill Nye aside, some time ago I decided that, if a multiverse exists, then it stands to reason that all the music we know in this universe also exists in other universes, but in different forms. Sort of equivalent to endlessly rolling an enormous shipping container full of millions of dice. If you endless roll the dice, you’ll eventually have rolled every single possible combination.

Every single possible combination.

That means Silent Night, Away in a Manger, and Good King Wenceslas exist in many different forms throughout the multiverse. Some of those forms have the exact same lyrics but completely different music. Courtesy of a rather elegant trans-dimensional spaceship I own called the HMSS Imagination, I recently traveled to several different spots of the multiverse on an ethnomusicological expedition.

And have returned with the carols that make up the new album Christmas in the Multiverse from my band the Inflatable Hippies. It’ll be available on Apple, Spotify and all the rest fairly soon (yes, not in time for Christmas, but certainly in time for other Christmases in other parts of the multiverse, as time runs differently in some of those places). The full carol list on the album is: Silent Night, Joy to the World, Angels We Have Heard on High, Angels We Have Heard on High 2 (found in a different spot in the multiverse from where I found the first Angels), Little Drummer Boy, Away in a Manger-We Three Kings combo (that was an interesting planet; they combo everything, so Reese’s peanut butter cups are very popular there), Good King Wenceslas, First Noel and Glad Tidings on Proxima Centauri b. In the meantime, here are three of the carols: Angels We Have Heard on High, Joy to the World, and the First Noel.

 

Apparently, this post scores a zero on the Flesch Readability Scale due to containing too many difficult words and complex sentences. All I can bother saying is, grow up, Flesch.