Adventures in Sandwich Procurement

I just had the oddest sandwich-procuring experience I’ve had in, well, since I was born, I suppose. I walked up to the deli counter and asked for a turkey, avocado and cheddar cheese on sliced whole wheat. Nothing else. No mustard, mayonnaise, no organic-fair trade-sustainable artisan lettuce. None of that. The guy behind the counter told me there’d be an extra charge for the avocado on top of their $5.49 sandwich price. I said, okay, cancel that, I’ll have one of your so-called Santa Cruz Turkey sandwiches (turkey, havarti cheese, bacon, avocado, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayonnaise, on a French roll), but can I have it on sliced whole wheat instead, and no bacon, lettuce, tomato, mustard or mayonnaise? Also, can I have cheddar instead of havarti? He said okay and charged me $5.49.

Hmm…

2 thoughts on “Adventures in Sandwich Procurement”

  1. It was a reward for doing the sandwich-topping math so quickly in your head. It took me about three readings to figure out what had to be subtracted and what added to that turkey sandwich to make the basic one you wanted in the first place.

    1. What made it even weirder is that his expression did not change. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the Mad Hatter had suddenly appeared behind the counter and invited me to tea.

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